Don’t take book reviews personally? That can be easier said than done, I know. When I first started with a review group, every bit of feedback was like a dagger to my heart.

How could people hate my writing?!

But they didn’t hate it. They were doing the job of a review group and being honest partners in an unspoken contract to help me be a better writer.

It took me awhile to realize that.

The Change

My mindset changed, and I can’t tell you when that happened. At some point I stopped taking it personally and realized that from the reviewer’s perspective it wasn’t about me, the author, it was simply about a story.

Now, when I sit with a review group I type all my notes, happy to get input and feedback on how to make a story better; and I know now that the more I attend review groups, the more I know how to sidestep writing errors I tend to do all the time.

Instead of feeling daggers, I became a sponge. I nod when people make comments, I type the notes, and sometimes I ask questions, but I never defend my piece.

Why?

They are my audience. If they can’t tell what’s happening or why a character is doing something, then I need to fix it.

Finding Your Change

Just me telling you to “Hey, don’t take that book review personally!” might not be what you were looking for, so I found some help from a TEDx video!

And who better to share than a referee (and as a roller derby player I love refs, but understand they can have a hard time).

And What About Public Reviews?

I feel this is the same thing to consider when getting book reviews from readers on places like Amazon. I don’t take those personally either.

Like when I received my most critical review so far of my first novel. I realize this isn’t about me as an author, it’s the reader’s honest feelings in relation to reading a story.

In fact, feel free to take a look at the most critical review of Toy of the Gods (Check out the 3 star review).

I hope you find a way to not take book reviews personally, and embrace a way that will help you become a better writer!

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